Posted: October 4, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks, Uncategorized | Tags: Carleton (MN), Central Missouri, Cumberlands, Faulkner, Gorilla playing Phil Collins, Grambling State, Joe Esposito, Macalester, Pittsburg State, Prairie View A&M |
Cumberlands @ Faulkner – Saturday, October 6 @ 1:30 pm CDT
Author: Ryan
Mascots
Cumberlands – Patriots. They’ve already reminded me of Tom Brady, so that’s not a good way to start. Previous mascots at Cumberlands were the Redhounds and Indians, but apparently these weren’t ‘Merican enough. The college decided to make the name change to Patriots “which is more in keeping with our college’s architecture.” Sure. Things are not going well Cumberlands, could anything turn it around…maybe a little Patriot Pride. You sir have won all mascot challenges for the rest of time.
Faulkner – Who Gives a Shits. I mean Eagles. Sadly not Eagle! Baldwin the Bald Eagle wears football jerseys and is not The Best.
Advantage – Joe Esposito.
Coaching Staff – Most Awesome Member
Cumberlands – All of these are on one page, but make sure to check out how high Michael Collins can get his chest in a photo. And he might not be a coach, but do yourself a favor and scroll down the page to check out all that is Manager Brian Campbell. But our winner here is Head Coach John Bland, a four-year letterman at QB for Arkansas in the 80s, a team that went to four straight bowl games.
Faulkner – The winner here is OC/QB Coach Nick Coleman, who was one of Dwight Dasher’s back-ups at Middle Tennesse. Dasher did not steal any checks from Coleman.
Advantage – Cumberlands. Because Michael Collins told me so.
Best Name
Cumberlands – Freshman OL Caleb Turnipseed and his brother Junior OL Shane Turnipseed. I assume their father was Steve Turnip.
Faulkner – A few winners here – Senior DL Paramore Tapa, Junior OL CoCo Lattimore, but nothing tops Senior DB Zeke Pigg.
Advantage – Faulkner.
Location
Cumberlands – Williamsburg, Kentucky. The Cumberland river flows through Williamsburg, hence the school name. The town thrived upon its founding due to its fresh water springs, and later lumber and coal industries. At its peak Williamsburg had more millionaires per capita than any other city in the nation, which I assume was 1. Williamsburg’s top attraction is the nearby Cumberland Falls State Resort Park, home of the Cumberland Falls, which is also known as Little Niagara or Niagara of the South. It is the only venue in the Western Hemisphere where a Moonbow or Lunar Rainbow is visible on clear nights with a full moon. Patricia Neal, who won the Best Actress Academy Award in 1963 for Hud, was born nearby but moved to Knoxville, TN at a young age. Also, I read this story yesterday before selecting this game to preview – http://www.wate.com/story/19689945/chinese-restaurant-shut-down-for-bringing-in-road-kill. What a disgusting coincidence.
Faulkner – Montgomery, Alabama. Obviously a much larger town that Williamsburg, Montgomery is the capital of Alabama. A group of European-American settlers established the town in 1817ish. In 1886 Montgomery became the first town in the US to install city-wide electric street cars. Rosa Parks was arrested in Montgomery for refusing to give up her bus seat to a white man, which helped make Montgomery one of the focal points of the modern civil rights movement. Hyundai has a factory in Alabama that makes Elantras, so I assume that is where my car was born. They are also home to one of the most successful fake baseball teams of our time, the Montgomery Burns. Some notable residents include Rosa Parks, Tommy Shaw of Styx, Hank Williams, Sr., and Hall of Fame QBs Bart Starr and Tarvaris Jackson.
Advantage – Faulkner. They had this one in a runaway.
Notable Alumni
Cumberlands – MMA Fighter Dustin Center, a couple of ex-governors of Kentucky, and that’s it.
Faulkner – Former MLB Pitcher Shane Reynolds (fun fact Reynolds was the opposing starting pitcher in the game Kerry Wood struck out 20 batters), a congressman, and that’s it.
Advantage – Faulkner. Shane Reynolds beats an MMA fighter I’ve never heard of.
Decision
A big comeback victory for Faulkner in this one on the strength of Zeke Pigg.
Macalester @ Carleton (MN) – Saturday, October 6 @ 1:00 pm CDT
“The Book of Knowledge”
I was not able to locate much information regarding the Book of Knowledge. The teams have been playing for the book since 1999 with Carleton winning the last 9 games in a row. They lead the overall series 49-9-1.
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Macalester – Scots. I spent 10 minutes looking and could not find any explanation of why. Fail.
Carleton – Knights. No further information available.
Advantage – No one. I know you are D-III institutions, but let’s get a few web pages up. It’s 2012 for fuck’s sake.
Best Player Name
Macalester– Tie – Sophomore RB Samson Bialostok, freshman QB T. Joe Loiselle, freshman RB Zandy Sowell, senior LB Geo Chester and sophomore OL Djoser Ramsey and his white-guy dreadlocks.
Carleton – Tie – the very Scandanavian duo of Henrik Byrlev & Jens Lillehei. However, they made my job easy by showing pictures of all the players. Buzz from Home Alone. Extremely happy. The Bounty guy. I don’t even know.
Advantage – Macalester. Great work on the pictures, Carleton, but since the category is names Macalester wins it easily.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Macalester – Defensive line coach Lee Nystrom, who looks a little bit like Dave Wannstedt. He was a four-year starter at Macalester and was named team MVP in 1972. He coached defensive line for the Scots from 1976 – 1984 and returned this year after a 28-year hiatus. Nystrom was inducted into the Macalester Hall of Fame in 1986 and played for the Green Bay Packers from 1973 to 1975.
Carleton – Wide receivers coach James Kilian. Kilian was a QB at Tulsa and was named second-team All-Conference in 2003. He was drafted in the 7th round by the Chiefs in 2005 and spent time with them, the Atlanta Falcons, the Hamburg Sea Devils (Europe), the Nashville Kats (AFL), and the Winnipeg Blue Bombers (CFL). Kilian was a graduate assistant and then quarterbacks coach at Tulsa and the running backs coach at LSU for one reason before landing at Carleton. Honorable mention goes to Offensive Coordinator Dick Tressel. He spent the last 11 years at Ohio State, the last 8 as running backs coach. However, no mention of his brother anywhere in the bio.
Advantage – Macalester. Both schools have a guy with NFL ties but having a Tressel means you lose the tiebreaker.
Location
Macalester – St. Paul, MN. St. Paul is the capital of and second largest city in Minnesota. It comprises the “Twin Cities” with adjoined Minneapolis. The settlement was originally known as Pig’s Eye for a tavern located there but was renamed Saint Paul by the first Catholic pastor in the region. It’s motto is “The most livable city in America”. In 1857, the territorial legislature voted to move the capital to Saint Peter. However, Joe Rolette, a territorial legislator, stole the physical text of the approved bill and went into hiding, thus preventing the move. On May 11, 1858, Minnesota was admitted to the union as the thirty-second state, with Saint Paul as the capital. It is home to the Saint Paul Winter Carnival which began in 1886 after a New York reporter called the city “another Siberia”. Notable natives include Peanuts creator Charles Schulz; painter LeRoy Nieman; and MLB players Dave Winfield, Paul Molitor, Jack Morris and Joe Mauer (give the Twins credit, they employed all of them at one time or another).
Carleton– Northfield, MN. Northfield is a town of approximately 20,000 which has become a suburb and bedroom community on the southern fringe of the Twin Cities metropolitan area. It was founded in 1855 by John North. The school was originally called Northfield College in 1866 but was renamed after William Carleton when the latter donated $50,000 to the school in 1871. In 1876, Jesse James and the James-Younger gang attempted to rob First National Bank of Northfield. Local citizens, recognizing what was happening, armed themselves and resisted the robbers and successfully thwarted the theft. The gang killed the bank’s cashier, Joseph Lee Heywood and a Swedish immigrant, Nicholas Gustafson. A couple of members of the gang were killed in the street, while the rest were cornered near Madelia, Minnesota. Jesse and Frank James escaped west into the Dakotas, while the remaining gang members were killed or taken into custody.The town’s motto is “Cows, Colleges, and Contentment” reflecting the influence of dairy farms in the area. Cereal producer Malt-O-Meal has a plant in the town on the Cannon River. Notable natives include professional juggler Jon Wee; former St. Louis Rams offensive lineman Mark Setterstrom; former New Orleans Saints offensive lineman Chad Setterstrom; and actress Alexandra Holden (one of Ross’ girlfriends on Friends).
Advantage – Carleton. In a huge upset, Northfield knocks off St. Paul. The townspeople “armed themselves” and drove off Jesse and Frank James. That’s good enough for me.
Notable Alumni
Macalester – Diplomat Kofi Annon; former U.S Vice President Walter Mondale; talent agent Ari Emanuel, the basis for Ari Gold of Entourage; 80’s pop group Information Society; actor Carl Lumbly (Detective Mark Petrie on 104 episodes of Cagney & Lacey); and actor/director Peter Berg (directed Friday Night Lights & Hancock).
Carleton – former Meet the Press host Garrick Utley; Barrie Osborne, producer of the Lord of the Rings trilogy; Monkees member Peter Tork (did not graduate); and a crapload of authors and politicians I’ve never heard of.
Advantage – Macalester. The politicians, musicians, and movie directors/producers cancel each other out leaving Cagney & Lacey for the win.
Decision
Macalester wins it 3-1-1 thanks to Cagney & Lacey, a quintet of great names and not employing a Tressel.
Central Missouri @ Pittsburg State – Saturday, October 6 @ 2:00 pm CDT
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Central Missouri– Mules. (The women’s teams are called the Jennies.) Here is a look at a day in the life of Mo the Mule. Also, their mule logo is awesome.
Pittsburg State – Gorillas. They provide a great explanation as to why they are the Gorillas. The mascot’s name is Gus. And Gus loves Phil Collins.
Advantage – Phil Collins. Both teams have unique, alliterative and awesome mascots. Unless Mo the Mule puts outs a video doing spin moves to Take Me Home Tonight, Gus wins. Forever.
[Ed. Note: I Googled “gorilla wrestling a mule” because, you know, I do shit like that. I didn’t find any evidence this has happened, but I found a good quote: “Success is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you are tired. You quit when the gorilla is tired.”]
Best Player Name
Central Missouri – Tie – Freshman kicker Niko Schwenneker (from Knob Noster, MO), senior LB Ovie Oghenejobo, junior DB Boy Humphrey, and (from an Iowa fan’s perspective, one of the best names ever) sophomore QB Hayden Hawk. And now, behold, the greatest mustache in college football history – Layne Moore. (He is from Wahoo, NE, which is a terrific place. If you buy two pieces of Casey’s Pizza you get a free fountain drink whether you want it or not.)
Pittsburg State – Tie – Sophomore LB Tyler Disney, sophomore OL Boston Higgins, sophomore DL Tank Burns, junior WR Trey Derryberry and freshman long snapper Steyr Stubenrauch. De’Vante Busby is very happy to be a Gorilla.
Advantage – The love child of Rollie Fingers and Tom Selleck. Pitt State had no chance after that.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Central Missouri – Head coach Jim Svoboda is a native of Denison, IA and is one of three Iowa natives on the Mule coaching staff. Svoboda played at Northwestern College in Orange City, IA and began his coaching career there as well. He has since coached for Dana College, Eastern New Mexico, Nebraska Wesleyan (head coach for 7 seasons), Northwest Missouri State, UCLA (where he was the finalist for the Frank Broyles Assistant Coach of the Year Award in 2005) and Montana State. He has been a part of 3 national championship teams – 1 at Northwestern and 2 at Northwest Missouri State – and UCLA made it to a bowl game in each of his 3 seasons there. The 2010 Central Missouri team won the first playoff game in school history and became the first team with a 5,000 yard passer and a 1,000 yard rusher.
Pittsburg State – Wide receivers coach Neal Philpot (who looks a bit like Harland Williams) was a four year starter at QB for Pittsburg State. He was a two-time All-American who became the first QB in NCAA history to run and pass for more than 1,000 yards in a season 3 times. He set a conference record with 10,168 yards of total offense and led the 2004 team to a Division II runner-up finish. He has been on the coaching staff since his graduation. Additionally, running backs coach John Pierce kind of looks like Tom Selleck – Tom Selleck now, not Magnum P.I. If he looked like a young Tom Selleck, Neal Philpot would have had to take a seat.
Advantage – Central Missouri. A tough call here with a long and storied and coaching career versus a very prolific playing career. However, Svoboda gets the edge based on 3 national titles and being from Iowa.
Location
Central Missouri – Warrensburg, MO. Warrensburg was founded in 1856 by settler Martin Warren. One of the elementary schools (Martin Warren Elementary) is named after the town’s founder. Warrensburg is close to the site of a horrific Missouri Pacific train wreck that occurred in 1904. An eastbound passenger train collided head-on with a westbound freight, killing 30 people. The passenger train was packed with people en route to St. Louis for the 1904 World’s Fair. The phrase “Man’s best friend” is based on a famous trial over the killing of Old Drum, a dog commemorated by a statue in front of the Warrensburg Courthouse. Notable natives include John William “Blind” Boone, an African-American concert pianist considered a pioneer of modern music; Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People; Kimberly Wyatt, former member of the Pussycat Dolls; American Idol season 7 winner David Cook; and current Oklahoma governor Mary Fallon.
Pittsburg State – Pittsburg, KS. Pittsburg was founded in 1876 and originally known as Iowa City. No mention is made as to why they dropped such a fine name. On October 23, 1864, a wagon train of refugees had come from Fort Smith, Arkansas, and was escorted by troops from the 6th Kansas Cavalry under the command of Col. William Campbell. These were local men from Cherokee, Crawford, and Bourbon Counties. Their enlistment was over, and they were on their way to Fort Leavenworth to be dismissed from service. They ran into the 1st Indian Brigade led by Maj. Andrew Jackson Piercy near the current Pittsburg Waste Water Treatment Plant. They continued to the north when a small group of wagons broke away in an unsuccessful rush to safety. The Confederate troops caught up with them and burned the wagons. The death toll was three Union soldiers and 13 civilian men who had been with the wagon train. It was likely that one of the Confederates had also been killed. A granite marker memorial for the “Cow Creek Skirmish” was placed near the Crawford County Historical Museum on October 30, 2011. Notable natives include actor Hugh Gillin (the sheriff from Psycho II and Psycho III); 1930s-1950s professional wrestler “Wild” Red Berry; Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer; and former Los Angeles Dodgers player, coach and manager Bill Russell.
Advantage – Warrensburg. A close race, but since Pittsburg changed its name from Iowa City, it loses.
Notable Alumni
Central Missouri – former Kansas men’s basketball coach Phog Allen, for whom the university’s fieldhouse is named; Houston Astros owner Jim Crane; Grant Curtis, executive producer of Spider-Man 1, 2 & 3; former WWE wrestler “The Natural” Butch Reed; former Drake and Iowa State men’s basketball coach Maury John, who lead Drake to the Final Four in 1969; actor Allan Kayser (Bubba Higgins on Mama’s Family); Carrie Nation, leader of the Temperance Movement; currently suspended NFL defensive coordinator Gregg Williams; former MLB pitcher Jerry Reuss; radio host Erich “Mancow” Muller; and James Evans, the inventor of Cheerios.
Pittsburg State – former Texas A&M football coach Dennis Franchione; former MLB player Sherm Lollar; NFL punter Brian Moorman; former NFL player Ronald Moore; and actor Gary Busey (did not graduate).
Advantage – Tie. Phog Allen, The Natural, Mama’s Family, Carrie Nation and the inventor of Cheerios = Gary Busey.
Decision
Central Missouri wins it 3-1-1 but I almost made an author’s decision to award the win to Pittsburg State on the strength of Gary Busey alone.
Prairie View A&M vs. Grambling State – Saturday, October 6 @ 6:00 pm CDT
“State Fair Classic”
The State Fair Classic has been annually at the Texas State Fair since 1925. The game has seen many teams since its inception and has featured these two schools each year since 1992.
[Ed. Note: The use of the word “classic” is debatable. Grambling State comes in 0-4 and Prairie View A&M 0-5. Although, MB does love a good pillow fight.]
Author: Bristol
Mascot
Prairie View A&M – Panthers. Here is Prairie View’s female mascot practicing for the 2012 Mascot “Dance Like a Stripper” contest.
Grambling State – Tigers.
Advantage – Panthers. In a battle of nondescript feline mascots, the one that doubled as my high school mascot wins. And earns a few singles.
Best Player Name
Prairie View A&M – Tie – Junior DT Alpha Kamara and WR Jamal Jupiter. QB De’Auntre Smiley is just that. And something seems different about the kicker and the punter from the rest of the squad.
Grambling State – Tie – Freshman RB Shaquille Traylor (only 5’11” so not the love child of Shaquille O’Neal and Robert Traylor), freshman WR Ka’Jandre Domnio and freshman RB Jeremy Runner.
Advantage – Grambling State. A RB named Runner is good enough for me.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Prairie View A&M – Safeties coach Bubba McDowell. McDowell played 7 years in the NFL, the first 6 for the Houston Oilers and the last for the Carolina Panthers in their inaugural year. He earned NFL All-Pro honors in 1991 and was named to two different All-Rookie team in 1989. He was a four-time letterman at Miami (FL) in college and was a starter on the undefeated 1987 National Championship team. After working for several years in the private sector following his playing career, McDowell joined the coaching ranks in 2003 at Texas Southern. He has also coached at Houston and Willowridge High School in addition to PVAM.
Grambling State – Head coach Doug Williams. Williams was a first round choice of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1978 and led the team to its first 3 playoff appearances in 4 seasons. He jumped to the USFL following the 1982 season because he was the lowest-paid starting QB in the NFL and was paid less than 12 backups. After the USFL was shut down in 1986 Williams signed with the Washington Redskins, coached by Williams’ offensive coordinator with the Bucs, Joe Gibbs. In 1987, Williams started only 2 games, but relieved starter Jay Schroeder 3 other times and was named the starter for the playoffs. He led the Redskins to the Super Bowl title in a 42-10 rout of the Denver Broncos. Williams was named MVP after throwing for 4 TDs. Williams is in his 2nd stint as Grambling State head coach and has also coached in the collegiate ranks at Navy and Morehouse.
Advantage – Grambling State. Bubba McDowell was an excellent player, but Doug Williams was a Super Bowl MVP.
Location
Prairie View A&M – Prairie View, TX. Prairie View is town of about 4,000 people in the Houston Metropolitan Area. The city was established in 1969 with the motto: “Productive, United, Indomitable.” Greyhound Bus Lines serves the Prairie View Station at Unco Food Store. It’s website heralds the town as “A City at the Point on the Frontiers of Change”. I don’t know what the hell that means. That is all the information I could find about Prairie View.
Grambling State – Grambling, LA. Grambling is a town of around 4,700 people in the Ruston Metropolitan Area. [Ed. Note: There is a Ruston Metropolitan Area?] The link to the city of Grambling’s website on Wikipedia takes you to a site entirely in Japanese that may or may not be selling furniture. I don’t think the city has an actual website.
Advantage – Prairie View. By default since they at least have a website and a motto.
Notable Alumni
Prairie View A&M– Rapper Kirko Bangz; former NFL Zelmo Beatty; 5-time MLB All-Star Cecil Cooper; Terry Ellis, member of R&B group En Vogue; Pro Football Hall of Fame member Ken Houston; Frederick Patterson, the founder of the United Negro College Fund; and actor Mr. T (did not graduate).
Grambling State – Eight-time Mr. Olympia winner Ron Coleman; NFL Hall of Fame member Willie Brown; Grammy-winning musician Erykah Badu (did not graduate); writer Judi-Ann Mason, who wrote for the sitcom “Good Times” and wrote the screenplay for Sister Act II; and Doug Williams.
Advantage – Prairie View A&M. Mr. T beats Sister Act II. Figuratively and probably literally.
Decision
A fun preview is won 3-2 by Prairie View and Mr. T.
Posted: September 6, 2012 | Author: bristol | Filed under: CFB Weekly Picks | Tags: Central Washington, Counciltucky, Craig T. Nelson, Exxon Valdez, Iowa Western, Joe Esposito, Massachusetts Maritime Academy, McFogg the Dog, Michael J. Fox, North Dakota, Portland State, Potato Bowl USA, River Pirates, Simon Fraser, SUNY Maritime, Trinity Valley, You're the Best |
As we have already established, a favorite MegaBracket pastime is to “preview” upcoming events with a plethora of random information. The college football season is no different as the sheer number of games played each week allows us to pick games at random and learn a little more about the colleges, players, coaches, and towns involved. Several different MB members contribute throughout the season with previews of their own. Each week’s collation will be published in one easy-to-find post.
[Ed. Note: If you would like to add your own contribution, simply e-mail it in and we will include it in the appropriate week’s previews.]
Iowa Western @ Trinity Valley – Saturday, September 8 @ 3:00 pm CDT
Author: Ryan
Mascots
Iowa Western – Reivers. According to the school website, the simple answer is that a Reiver is a River Pirate. Apparently there used to be River Pirates on the Missouri River, and when some random student suggested the name it was voted on and became the official mascot. Their logo and actual physical mascot is a pirate with an eye patch and earings, as even on the river losing an eye is a pirate staple.
Trinity Valley – Cardinals. Not a lot of history on their site, so I’m going to assume someone just picked a bird at random and it stuck for their mascot.
Advantage – Reivers. They had me at River Pirate.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Iowa Western – Tie between OL Coach Dane Uperesa and DL Coach Richard Glover Jr. Uperesa is a former University of Hawaii star and member of both the Colts and Bengals practice squads. Apparently his wife is in dental school at Creighton so he ended up in the Omaha area, which has to be fascinating for him. Glover is the son of former Nebraska star Rich Glover, winner of the 1972 Outland and Lombardi awards. He was selected as a starting DT in SI’s NCAA All-Century Team in 1999. Lil’ Rich Jr. played college ball at New Mexico State and had a brief stint with Tampa Bay in the NFL. Also, please check out Head Coach Scott Strohmeier’s Senior Photo – http://www.goreivers.com/sports/coaches.asp?sport=football.
Trinity Valley – J Pond. J is a former Offensive Lineman at Texas A&M who according to T Valley still holds a number of lifting records at the school. Also, his name is J.
Advantage – Iowa Western. That was just too much for J to overcome.
Best Player Names
Iowa Western – Tie between Sophomore Punter Carr Terpstra and Freshman WR Geronimo Allison. Sadly the Iowa Western site is very bad at player photos.
Trinity Valley – After finally finding a roster in the “In the News” section, I have to go with Fresham OL Danie Sweet, who just sounds adorable.
Advantage – Trinity Valley, because I don’t want to make Danie Sweet sad.
Locations
Iowa Western – Council Bluffs, IA. Affectionately known as The ‘Tuck for its similarity to all things Kentucky, this lovely riverside village has been shunned by the rest of its state, as well as its neighbors across the river in Omaha. Named for the 1804 meeting between the Lewis & Clark Expedition with the Otoe tribe, when The Council Bluffs became the name for the land on both sides of the Missouri River north of the mouth of the Platte River. For a while the actual town was named Kanesville, named for benefactor Thomas L. Kane who helped negotiate for Mormons to use the land adjacent to the Missouri River as a winter encampment. Eventually the Gold Rush happened and the majority of the Mormon community left to Utah. After which, the town was renamed Council Bluffs. As many of us know (although not that it had this name), CB is home to Casino Row, where drunk Nebraskans pour money into the Iowa economy. The city’s mascot is the black squirrel. A few notable residents include John McCain’s father, a former Navy Admiral, and David Yost, Billy the Blue Power Ranger.
Trinity Valley – TV actually has campuses in Athens, Kaufman, Palestine and Terrell, TX, but the athletic department address is in Athens, so that’s what we are going with. I’m gonna go out on a limb and assume they were named for another famous Athens, maybe that one in Georgia? Athens has a solid food history, with a claim to the creation of the first hamburger. John Murchison created the sandwich, not named hamburger at the time, in the late 1880s at his lunch counter. Other food notes, Bonnie and Clyde frequented a café next to the County Courthouse in Athens, and the Athens Dairy Queen was used as a design example for DQs across the country. Athens is also called “The Black Eyed Pea Capital of the World”.
Advantage – I’m guessing Athens has a lot on CB, but hamburgers and DQ are enough to win this one. Trinity Valley.
Notable Alumni
Iowa Western – Not a lot to find for either team, other than former football players. The team has only been around since 2009, but they have sent a couple guys to Iowa, Dan Heiar, Joe Audlehelm, Sean Skradis, Andrew Dawson, and Eric Simmons. I’m not sure how much I can count Wegher as an alumni, but he was there for a time I guess.
Trinity Valley – With a much longer history, TV has put tons of guys in DI and many players in the NFL. Some of the biggest names are Rock Cartwright, Ahtyba Rubin, Matt Bryant, and Hall of Famer John Randle.
Advantage – No competition here, Trinity Valley. Not enough time for Iowa Western to build up their football alumni base, and neither school has any other notable alumni listed.
Decision
Trinity with the big comeback late to take it 3-2.
SUNY Maritime @ Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Friday, September 7 @ 6:00 pm CDT
“Chowder Bowl”
Author: Bristol
Mascots
SUNY Maritime – Privateers.
Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Buccaneers.
Advantage – Buccaneers. Not surprisingly, both mascots are related to the sea. Sadly, I was unable to locate any pictures of costumed mascots. SUNY Maritime’s logo is an old, old wooden ship (named “Diversity” I believe) while MMA’s logo is of a bearded, burly pirate holding a sword and shaking his fist at some unseen enemy. Or perhaps at whoever applied all that mascara. Nevertheless, a slightly effeminate Blackbeard still beats a ship.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
SUNY Maritime – Offensive Coordinator Ed Gardella. Coach Gardella begins his first season as offensive coordinator of the Privateers’ triple option offense. Gardella spent more than 30 years as a high school coach in the tri-state area, coaching future NFL players Ramon Guzman, Sam Garnes and Dequan Mobley. His future is so bright, he has to wear shades.
Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Ed Borden. No biographical information on the MMA coaches page, just awkward-looking pictures of the coaches wearing shirts and ties. However, Coach Borden appears to be wearing a shirt that is too long, a tie that is too short and probably no pants.
Advantage – MMA. No pants always beats sunglasses.
Best Player Names
SUNY Maritime – Chrisrichard Jean-Baptiste. One first name and one last name are simply not enough. Honorable mention to Bill Cosby’s long lost grandson Andrew.
Massachusetts Maritime Academy – David Yerxa. Not a while to choose from here. The academies also shot a hole in my best hair category from last week.
Advantage – Jean-Baptiste. Very disappointing category this time around.
Locations
SUNY Maritime – Throggs Neck, NY. This is a narrow spit of land in the southeastern portion of the Bronx that demarcates the passage between the East River and Long Island Sound. The peninsula was named Vriedelandt, “Land of Peace” by the Dutch. The British attempted to land there in 1776 but were repealed by George Washington and his troops. The movies Awakenings and The Departed were filmed in Throggs Neck.
Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Buzzard’s Bay, MA. Buzzards Bay was settled by Europeans in 1621 and named for the birds that circled the area. The “buzzards” were likely either turkey vultures or ospreys. Buzzards Bay is home to the National Marine Life Center, a marine animal hospital, science, and education center dedicated to rehabilitating stranded sea turtles, seals, dolphins, porpoises, and small whales.
Advantage – Tie. I simply cannot choose between Throggs Neck and Buzzards Bay. I can’t and won’t.
Notable Alumni
SUNY Maritime –Astronaut Scott Kelly; Kevin Mannix, the commander of the Blue Angels; Joseph Hazelwood, master of the Exxon Valdez (not sure I would put that in the promotional materials); and Geraldo Rivera, who attended for 3 years but did not graduate
Massachusetts Maritime Academy – Naval Commander Emory Rice, who rammed and sank a German U-boat while in command of a freighter in World War I; Captain Shane Murphy, the Chief Mate of the Maersk Alabama during the attempted hijacking in April of 2009.
Advantage – MMA. MMA has two guys who fought and defeated enemies at sea. SUNY Maritime has a guy responsible for one of the worst disasters in the history of the world. And the captain of the Exxon Valdez.
Decision
MMA takes this one 3-1-1.
Portland State @ North Dakota – Saturday, September 8 @ 6:05 pm CDT
“Potato Bowl USA”
The Potato Bowl USA is a weeklong festival teaming the University of North Dakota and the Red River Valley potato growing industry and was created in 1865. The week kicked off with Hugo’s Hidden Medallion Contest on Monday. The person who found the medallion won $1,200 worth of groceries from Hugo’s and four free tickets to the football game. Tonight is the World’s Largest French Fry Feed and Fireworks at University Park & Memorial Stadium in Grand Forks, ND. Don’t miss tomorrow night’s Potato Bowl Bash at Big D’s Bar & Grill featuring 80’s and 90’s rock band S.O.L.
Author: Bristol
Mascots:
Portland State – Vikings. Pictures of Victor E. Viking can be found here, here and here.
North Dakota – Fighting Sioux. The NCAA has demanded UND drops the nickname, deeming it offensive. The school and the NCAA have been in a legal battle for several years. Some members of Sioux tribes support the nickname while others want it removed. In other words, some people like it, some people hate it, and the government is telling everyone what to do. Kind of like everything else in life.
Advantage – Portland State. Unless Leif Erickson’s descendants start suing Portland State, Victor E. Viking wins this one in a landslide.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Portland State – Tie – Run game coordinator/offensive line coach Brad Davis was a starting offensive lineman for the University of Oklahoma’s 2002 National Championship team and has coached at Southern University, Wayne State College, Doane College, Texas A&M, North Carolina & Portland State. Linebackers coach/recruiting coordinator Lester Towns was a team captain and All-Pac-10 linebacker at the University of Washington before playing seven seasons in the NFL for Carolina, Arizona and Miami. T0wns set the Carolina rookie tackles record in 2000 and played in Super Bowl XXXVIII.
Fun historical coaching fact – The Run & Shoot offense was first installed at Portland State by Mouse Davis in the 1970s. His QBs at the time were Neil Lomax, who went on to a long NFL career, and June Jones, who is still coaching the Run & Shoot (and zero defense) at SMU.
North Dakota – Cornerbacks coach Wes Nurse was a three-year starter at safety for Boise State and was named first team All-WAC honors and the Broncos’ Defensive MVP in 2003 when he was also a team captain. He has coached at Capital High School in Boise, Boise State, The Citadel, Houston & UC Davis.
Advantage – Portland State. A national champion and an NFL player outweigh Boise State’s defensive MVP from 2003. (Extra demerits for UND’s head coach having played at Iowa State.)
Best Player Names
Portland State – Tie – Henry Organ and Joey Esposito. His dad’s name is Joe Esposito, but not that Joe Esposito. Joey has overcome two bouts with cancer to continue his football career. Random fact – RB D.J. Adams played 2 years at Maryland, setting a school freshman record with 11 rushing TD’s in 2010, including 4 in the Military Bowl against East Carolina.
North Dakota – Conrad Schwarzkopf. Honorable mention goes to R.J. McGill’s bowtie.
Advantage – Portland State. Even if your dad isn’t the Joe Esposito, if your name is Joey Esposito, You’re the Best.
Location
Portland State – Portland, OR. Rose City is one of the most environmentally friendly cities in the world. The city is also known for its large number of microbreweries and microdistilleries as well as its food carts and coffee enthusiasm. It’s 40 breweries are more than any other city in the world. Being such a large city, it is the home of many awesome things: Paul Revere & the Raiders, Matt Groening, Sam Elliott, Sally Struthers, Beverly Cleary and the drafting of Greg Oden.
North Dakota – Grand Forks, ND. The Grand Cities include Grand Forks and its twin city, East Grand Forks, MN. The city lies in the flat region known as the Red River Valley and is prone to flooding with the extreme case being the devastating Red River Flood of 1997. The city was started in 1870 when Alexander Griggs’ steamboat froze in the Red River in late 1870. They spent the winter camping there and the community was incorporated within 11 years. Notable people from Grand Forks include the inventor of the block heater, Andrew Freeman, and Roger Maris.
Advantage – Portland State. This is getting to be a rout, but I’ve been to Portland and it’s gorgeous. Also, Sam Elliott’s mustache is from there.
Notable Alumni
Portland State – Jean M. Auel, author of The Clan of the Cave Bear; Carolyn Davidson, the creator of the swoosh; former NFL player Neil Lomax and Clint Didier; 2002 Miss America Katie Harman; Holly Madison from “The Girls Next Door”; Pitcher Jeff Lahti, a member of the 1982 World Series Champion Cardinals; late MLB player Steve Olin; and actress/singer Courtney Love, who attended but did not graduate.
North Dakota – Sally J. Smith, the current president and CEO of Buffalo Wild Wings (note to Sally – do something about the Moore restaurant, it’s average on it’s best day); essayist and journalist Chuck Klosterman; America’s Next Top Model winner Nicole Linkletter; former (and future?) NBA coach Phil Jackson; NFL player Jim Kleinsasser; and a slew of NHL players including Ed Belfour (btw, you can bid on an autographed Ed Belfour puck with proceeds benefiting the UND Athletic Department here – at $20 right now, it’s a steal!).
Advantage – North Dakota. A random collection of alumni, even by MegaBracket’s standards. However, 9-time NBA Champion coach Phil Jackson secures the win for North Dakota.
Decision
Phil Jackson avoids the shutout but Portland wins 4-1 in a romp.
Central Washington @ Simon Fraser – Saturday, September 8 @ 4:00 pm CDT
Simon Fraser makes its home debut as the first international member of the NCAA.
Author: Bristol
Mascots
Central Washington – Wildcats, specifically Wellington P. Wildcat. Wellington has Facebook and Twitter. Well, sort of – he tweeted twice on October 6, 2009 and never since. Good work, Wellington! Also, Wellington hates the library.
Simon Fraser – Clan. This is not a racist-based nickname but rather a Scottish-based nickname. The physical mascot is a Scottish Terrier named McFogg the Dog. As you can see from his Facebook and Twitter pages, he is much more adept with social media than Wellington. He also had a great time at the SFU career fair in 2011.
Advantage – McFogg the Dog. Wellington is lucky I can’t award negative points.
Coaching Staff (Most Awesome Member)
Central Washington – Offensive line coach John Gariano. No biographical information is given, but no biographical information is needed.
Simon Fraser – Offensive Coordinator Jason Beck. Beck played QB at BYU, serving as the primary backup for John Beck (no relation) for 3 years. He has had coaching stops at BYU, LSU & Weber State before joining Simon Fraser. He also had an excellent picture while at BYU.
Advantage – Central Washington. Like many great pro wrestlers of the past, I bet Coach Gariano is from “parts unknown”. And if you can’t beat out John Beck you aren’t winning anything.
Best Player Names
Central Washington – Osayande Aikhionbare. Honorable mention to Josef Kistler‘s hair and happiness and Griffin Squires‘ disgusting goatee/beard/squirrel.
Simon Fraser – WR Keyon Slowly. Honorable mention to Bibake Uppal‘s beard and the fact that they have a QB from Finland on their roster.
Advantage – Central Washington. Whatever that thing is on Griffin Squires’ face terrifies me, so it wins.
Location
Central Washington – Ellensburg, WA. The county seat of Kittitas County is just east of the Cascade Range on Interstate 90. The city made a bid for the state capital in the late 19th century, losing out to Olympia. Ellenburg hosts the annual Winterhop Brewfest in January as well as Dachshunds on Parade. Current or former residents of Ellenburg include former NFL QB Drew Bledsoe, all four members of the grunge band Screaming Trees and actor Brian Thompson (Buffalo Bob from Joe Dirt).
Simon Fraser – Burnaby, BC. We already spotlighted the city of Burnaby when we learned about the Western Lacrosse Association. The biggest thing to recall is that Burnaby was where actor Michael J. Fox. grew up and attended high school.
Advantage – Simon Fraser. Drew Bledsoe, Buffalo Bob and lots of dachshunds cannot beat Michael J. Fox. Not now, not ever.
Notable Alumni
Central Washington – NFL QB John Kitna; basketball coach Dean Nicholson, who combined with his father Leo to win 1,114 games at CWU, the most by a father-son duo in college basketball history; Stephen L. Nelson, author of “Quicken for Dummies” and 150 other books in the series; Roland “Sandy” Wheeler, the inventor of the Bowflex; and actor Craig T. Nelson
Simon Fraser – Former Toronto Raptors head coach Jay Triano; Pakalitha Mosisili, the Prime Minister of the Kingdom of Lesotho; professional lacrosse player Curtis Hodgson; and Francesco Aquilini, owner of the Vancouver Canucks
Advantage – Coach.
Decision
Michael J. Fox tied it at 2, but Craig T. Nelson unties it for a 3-2 Central Washington victory. That’s what superstars do, especially those with middle initials.
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